Chocolate Man
by andreakayy
Summary: Hot days and heat waves makes Mulder do stupid things... wanting Scully to take a bite out of his chocolate self like the Axe commercial? Silly fic. 1150 words, R&R Strong T MSR


**Discalimer: I do not own the X-files... but Chris Carter, call me up and we'll chat about you cutting me a share ;]**

**Okay, I wrote this fast. It's an even 1150 words. It's pure humor. Please r&r.  
Basically Mulder buys a can of chocolate axe spray in hopes that Scully would take a bite out of him (like the commercial for chocolate axe!) His plan doesn't work out, but the fic ends with them in the shower. So.... enjoy (:  
Inspired by what I said on one very boring random crazy mood night, "I want to dip Mulder in chocolate and take a bite out of him."**

**Chocolate Man**

The rain poured outside. It literally poured. The raindrops pounded onto the windshield as Scully drove up the long driveway to their small, quaint, little, nothing-special of a house. She couldn't remember the last time she saw rain drops that big. It was probably because she had never.

Work was tiring. It was eight in the evening. She had gotten off early compared to all the recent nights. The administration at the hospital all walked around with poles shoved up their asses, as Scully saw it. They were constant bitches and made her want to pull her hair out. If it weren't for her love and maternal yearning to be around children that she could help and not give up on, she would give up on the job and quit. With having a tiring day, she was seeking a little sympathy from her... her Mulder.

She trudged through the rain, cursing herself for forgetting her umbrella and then cursing Mulder for taking it out of her car the last day it rained. She flipped her hair out when she got inside, it was warm... humid. Mulder must've turned the air off during the day. She would have to remind herself to speak to him about that. It wasn't even May yet. It was April 28th, and they had just gotten the worst heat wave of their time living in that house. It was about 85 degrees Fahrenheit out at the moment, and around 79 inside.

She dropped her black leather briefcase on the table in their small living room, kicked off her heals, and turned off the light on the end table, which Mulder had always left on for her. She then made her way up the wooden stairs to their bedroom.

She was greeted with the cool air flying at her when she pulled back the large oak door. Mulder was sitting on the edge of the bed, clad in only the thin material of his light grey boxers. When he saw Scully he came up to her with a large playful goofy grin plastered onto his face, and she wondered what it was that he was up to.

"How was your day?" Mulder asked, the smirk never leaving his face. He had a certain disheveled look that Scully loved. It was sort of like he had gotten ran over by a truck... but had no injuries. At least, that was the only way she could describe it. She scanned his chest, searching for at least one imperfection. Then, something hit her nose. She wrinkled it in revulsion.

"Mulder, what IS that smell?" She asked. The scent in the air hung loosely. It wasn't too strong, but Scully's sensitive little nose could pick anything out. He lost his grin completely. The playfulness in his eyes was slowly fading as well.

"I don't smell anything, Scully." He said, trying to play it off. "How was your day?"

"Tiring," He began to pull her into his arms. "Annoying, lovely, horrible, fun..." Then it really hit her, and out of the corner of her eye a black can with a brown design got her attention. She whipped her head around to face it and pushed herself off of Mulder. "Chocolate Axe, Mulder?" She asked with a nasally effect to her voice, compliments to her hand pinching her nose shut.

"You don't like it." He said, his face falling.

"Oh no, is it that obvious?" Scully asked, almost with a laugh. "You seem really disappointed, Mulder," She added after a long silence. "Why?"

"Well.... it's stupid really." She got far enough away from him and went to her side of the bed. She began to put her black silk summer pajamas on.

"Just tell me."

He was really looking embarrassed. As he told his story he did not make eye contact until the end. "See, I was watching TV today... when the axe commercial came on. And... I saw that a bunch of girls wanted to take a bite out of the chocolate axe man." She covered her mouth with her hand and suppressed a short giggle. "See, you're laughing!"

"That was nothing more than... a cough, Mulder. Continue, please." She was only searching for more humor out of his story.

"So... I ran into Wal-mart... and got a can... or two." She could always tell when he was lying, even if they didn't have eye contact.

"How many Mulder? Really?"

"Okay, I got ten.... 12. But it was 2 for $6.25!" She sighed.

"Go on."

"So... I was thinking that.... maybe it would add some spice to our relationship if..." Her hand flew up to conceal her mouth again. "You could... take a bite out of me because I smelt –Hey! Come on!"

"I'm sorry!" Scully admitted, still cracking up in hysterics. "Just, just –go take a shower."

About two minutes after Mulder had gotten into the shower, Scully, who sat on the bed cross legged reading an article in Doctor's Weekly had decided she better go brush her teeth before the bathroom filled up with steam to the point where it would be hard to breathe. She slid off the bed in her black silky shorts and black lace camisole. When she walked in, her eyes darted to the shower. She was able to see the outline of Mulder's body against the frosted glass of their shower. She blushed when she thought of Mulder in there.

As she began to put the blue crest toothpaste onto her tooth brush, another smell hit her nose. It was a rather intoxicating smell, intoxicating in the best of ways. She wanted to wrap herself in that smell. She closed her eyes and let them roll to the back of her head as she inhaled deeply, becoming beautifully poisoned by the mouth-watering scent. Giorgio Armani body wash.

She wrapped her arms around herself and let her fingers grip the end of her camisole as she ripped it away and casted it to the ceramic tiled floor. She had no time to take anything else off before she pulled open the frosted glass door, revealing Mulder. His lips crashed down onto hers when he saw her standing there. He pulled her in with him. He pulled her in even as she still wore her shorts and bra. But he didn't care.

He lifted her against the wall and her legs wrapped around his waist. The material of her shorts was sticking to her legs under the cold shower. Mulder was taking a cold shower, and it was perfect for her, such a perfect relief from the heat wave they were experiencing.

"You smell amazing," Scully breathed her hot breath into his ear, causing a low growl to erupt from his chest as she grinded down on him. Her lips attacked his neck, sucking all his free skin, biting him... biting him, adding spice to their relationship.

**Pahaha, wasn't my best I know. but please review. Humor me.  
-AK.**


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